Yesterday, I was playing catch with my older boys in the community pool when I saw a man pull a little child out of the water. My heart briefly sank in pity for that man who presumably wasn’t watching his child closely. Then, I looked harder at the gray-faced toddler and yelled, “He’s MINE!” That wasn’t the son of that man; he was my littlest and I hadn’t seen him go down. And everything in my heart changed from pity to relief and despair.
My heart and body were shaking. I took my 2-year old, wrapped a towel around him and held him closely during the vomiting that followed. My friend Amy stayed with my other 6 kids and my husband raced over from work and drove Gabe to an urgent care. My baby boy was fine and no longer had water in his lungs. While he recovered to his normal self within an hour, I remained shaken by fear and doubt. “You are too inadequate to handle 7 kids” was the awful lie creeping into my mind. The horrible feelings of guilt, shame, and inadequacy were shaking me & trying to creep into my heart.
As a believer in Jesus, I know that Truth always prevails. “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” (2 Corinthians 12:9, NIV)
Eventually, that Truth already living in my heart pushed the lies out of my mind. And, the lesson piercing my heart came from my own lips…
“He’s mine!” and that changes everything. The distant became personal. That boy belongs to me. How often do I forget my Designer is saying that about me… “She’s mine! Yes, that one who is in over her head-- She’s mine. I DESIGNED her, created her, love her and want to do life with her. When she was drowning in her hopelessness, I swept her up & covered her & breathed life into her.”
That’s how I do what I do. Not because I am patient or super-mom or have a large heart. It’s because I belong to someone greater than myself. Christ is at my side everyday. Over and over through all my life changes, hardships, inadequacies, and joys, I belong to my Designer and at 7 years old when I understood He was offering me an opportunity to do life together I said yes, and have never looked back.
Do you belong to something or someone greater than yourself?